Lotus
by LadyZelthePen
Summary: "Mercury, if for one moment you and I were not locked in battle, would you still care for me?" he whispered.
1. Prologue

**This little idea popped in my brain a little while ago, and it came out so naturally. I've been into the Sailor Moon fandom lately, especially the MercuryXZoisite pairing. I hope you all enjoy this! **

The damp wisps of her pale blue hair framed her near-white face, which he reached over to caress. She nearly seemed to shudder beneath his touch, but then she only mumbled and turned over onto her side. His hand froze only a fraction above her cheek, but then he slowly drew it away.

The sheer curtains over her windows waved slightly in the breeze wafting in, and he straightened to face it. The lights of Tokyo outside glittered, casting odd shapes on the opposite wall. He crossed the room and quietly shut the windows, glancing back to be certain she still slept.

Her room was hardly decorated, but it reflected her soul. From the curtains to the satin spread on her bed, and the trickling wall fountain as a headboard, everything about the room screamed Mercury.

He took a deep breath through his nose then breathed out her name. "Mercury…" For so long, he'd wished to taste her name on his tongue without malice or hate. Now he did.

The slim girl on the bed mumbled again and moved her arm to swat at something not there. He watched her, a small smile lifting his mouth. It felt strange, and he couldn't remember the last time he had really smiled.

_White lotuses swayed in a gentle breeze that smelled of rain, and a pale blue-haired girl standing beneath their branches. _

He blinked. He could still see her, fresh and beautiful, standing beneath the lotus blossoms. She had turned and looked at him, cocking her head to the side, and then smiled. He remembered he had smiled back at her; back then, it hadn't been so hard. And he had plucked one of the lotus blossoms and gave it to her. Their hands had touched, and she had blushed. The pink had stolen up her creamy porcelain skin so quickly, he had wanted to make her blush again just to watch.

Now, she lay on her bed, exhausted from the day. But she was still fresh and beautiful, like the rain she loved so much. He crossed over to her and knelt beside her, taking her slender hand in his gloved one.

"Mercury, if for one moment you and I were not locked in battle, would you still care for me?" he whispered.

"_We really shouldn't," she'd whispered. Hidden by the lotus blossoms, he smiled._

"_No one will see us, my love." He traced her brow and leaned closer to kiss her. She shifted uncomfortable, and he stopped. _

"_Suppose…what if we're found out? They'll all talk." She stared up at him with her blue eyes, pleading._

_He chuckled. "Let them talk, darling."_

_And they kissed. _

He bowed his head, pressing her hand against his forehead. His chest heaved, as if caught under some enormous weight, and he tried to swallow. Drowning; that's what the sensation was called. Yes, he was drowning in his loyalty to Beryl, and largely from his love for the blue eyed girl called Mercury.

"_Mercury, wait!" He stopped at the edge of the water, staring down at its blue reflection. _

_She stood knee-deep in the pond, her white dress swirling out around her. Her brow lifted in confusion, and she turned to him._

"_What's wrong?" Genuine concern colored her words, and he longed to take her in his arms and kiss her cares away. _

"_I…I can't swim." He flushed and kicked a clump of dirt into the water. _

_Her laughter was soft and delicate, so much like her. He looked up at her. She waded back to him, her wet skirt clinging to her legs. _

"_Come on," she said, her eyes dancing, and took his hand. "You don't have to. I'll save you if you drown."_

He was drowning now, and she wasn't there. He kissed the top of her hand, suppressed a sob, and looked up. In moonlight, she was angelic. A goddess of water, Mercury…

He straightened, draping her arm across her stomach. On impulse, he bent and kissed her gently on her mouth. Her lips were feather soft, just as he remembered from their sweet, stolen kisses in another life. Only this time, she wasn't kissing him back.

"Perhaps someday, Mercury," he whispered, straightening. "If you'll still have me."

Going to her door, he looked back at her. The last time he would see her as a friend and his past lover, the girl Mercury lay still in sleep.

"Goodbye, Ami-chan."


	2. Chapter 1

**Mrs. Fairweather posed an interesting challenge to me: continue with Lotus into a multi-fic chapter. After much thought, I've decided to do so. Lotus will continue until my muse quits, and I will only update this fic once in a while. It will be on the backburner of the stove of writing, and I will decided to stir it once in awhile. :) This is a very AU fic, because I honestly don't know what happens between Mercury and Zoisite in the manga (haven't gotten that far yet). **

**I do not own Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, or Zoisite. **

**Read and enjoy! **

**Chapter One **

Zoisite had known for a long time he'd be facing Sailor Mercury in battle. Ever since he'd sworn his life it Queen Beryl, following in the footsteps of his mentor Kunzite, he'd known they would face the Senshi one day.

He just hadn't expected it to be today.

Sailor Mercury faced him, her icy blue eyes flashing with determination, and her arms extended. She stood ready for battle, and for a moment he faltered.

Could he do it? Zoisite had once- still- loved this woman. Could he really stand here, facing her, and fight against her? Suppose it came to death? And he knew it would; fights against the Senshi always ended in death.

"Zoisite." His name came out like a hiss between her teeth, and he inwardly winced. "You've taken enough from this world, and the previous world. It is time."

"Sailor Mercury, do you honestly think you could defeat me?" He laughed, forcing the sound out. Zoisite had to act with her. If she knew he still loved her, she would hesitate to kill him. He needed to die.

"You will fall by my hand, traitor." Mercury narrowed her eyes at him, positioning her hands for an attack.

Zoisite raised his sword. "Do your best then, Scout."

Water blasted him almost immediately as he spoke, and Zoisite felt as if a thousand needles were pricking him at once. The force of her attack sent him sprawling back against the stones. Zoisite felt his shoulder bone snap with a sound that was most definitely not natural. He wiped blood from his mouth, facing Mercury again. His sword wavered in his hand and he struggled to regain his footing.

"Is that the best you can do?" he rasped, straightening. "I expected more from you, Mercury."

She hesitated and he saw a flash of compassion cross her delicate features as she took in his battered appearance. It wasn't enough for him to be wet and bloody, for his arm to be dislocated and shoulder bone shattered. He had to suffer more. Zoisite had to feel it, payment for everything he'd ever done to hurt her.

Zoisite couldn't let her ease up on him; he had to keep her going. He thrust his sword toward her and the earth beneath her feet trembled. Mercury stumbled, but as she fell she touched the ground and a sliver of ice formed beneath her fingers. It traveled toward him and encased his legs, his arms, stopping at his shoulders and freezing him in place. He struggled a little, but he didn't bother breaking her ensnarement for him.

Mercury stepped closer to him, her hand outstretched. Once she was close enough, she placed her hand upon his chest, encased under the ice, and it melted away.

"Zoisite…" His name on her lips was soft, and he closed his eyes. Just hearing her speak to him was intoxicating.

"Just kill me now," he all but begged her. Zoisite couldn't take the pain any longer; the immense weight he was crushed under. He looked into her ice blue eyes, hoping to read her resolve. She would kill him now, put him out of her life and then he wouldn't be able to cause her any more pain. Mercury's hand on his chest, on his heart, was almost unbearable. Even with her elements of ice and water, her touch was searing hot.

Mercury formed a sword out of ice and drew her hand away, placing the tip over his heart. Zoisite closed his eyes, waiting for the blow that would freeze his heart and kill him. Moments ticked by, but nothing occurred. Zoisite looked at her again.

Her sword had lowered, and a sheen of tears had covered her eyes. Her lips were parted and after a moment she spoke.

"Zoisite, do you not remember anything from before?"

Her question caught him by surprise. Before he could stop himself, she had seen the truth in his eyes. Mercury stared at him, her ice blue eyes wide and her mouth parted in shock. Zoisite stared back at her but neither spoke.

Moments ticked by, marked only by the quiet wind and Mercury's tears. She closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against his. Zoisite nearly drew back in surprise but he returned her kiss with passion. He'd longed for this day for so long; waiting to hold her close again as they once had in a different life.

The ice around him melted and he pulled her close, her body pressing against him. Mercury trembled, and he recalled a similar time when she had done so. The first time they had kissed, she had trembled but she hadn't pulled away.

Their hunger satisfied, Mercury pulled away but not far enough for him to let go. Zoisite kept his arm around her waist and gently caressed her hair.

"I've missed you." His voice was raw, as if he'd been shouting for ages. "Mercury…"

"Sh." She pressed a finger to his lips. "Don't say anything." Her eyes fell for a moment and when she looked at him again, her tears were combined with a smile. "I thought I had lost you forever, all those years ago."

"You could never have lost me, Ami. I may be a fool, but I know who holds my heart." He paused, cupping her face and tilting her to look up at him. "I love you, Ami."

"And I you, so very much." She reached up, standing on her toes, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Why did you do it, Zoisite? We had so much…"

"I know." He looked away, ashamed. He'd let so much slip away and he hadn't bothered to fight for any of it, to fight for her. "I was a fool; I believed I could give you so much. Beryl promised much, but… It was a lie, all of it. I never should have listened to her honeyed lies or followed Kunzite's lead."

Zoisite bowed his head and then he felt Mercury's cool hand touch his cheek.

"Zoisite, I have always loved you, even through your mistakes. I believed you were good, and you are." Mercury smiled, a sight that brought tears to his eyes. "Come back to us."

"I..I can't, Mercury. My loyalty to Beryl…" He couldn't bear to see her distress. If he couldn't give Beryl up, did it mean he didn't love her enough? "Please, you must understand. If she finds out about this, she'll kill me, and the others. She already believes us incompetent. One misstep, Mercury, will be all it takes."

She nodded, her blue hair bobbing. Her eyes had grown sad, and the distance that usually covered them had almost returned. Zoisite kissed her quickly, willing it away.

"My love, don't despair yet. The end has almost come and Beryl will fall. And then," he dropped his voice to a whisper, "I will be free, and we can live as we did before."

"I know. Be careful, Zoisite." She flung her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder and breathing deeply. "I will wait for you, as I always have."

He kissed her again, savoring their last moment. "I will return for you, Mercury. I can't promise you much, but I can promise that." And then, Zoisite departed from her.


	3. Chapter 2

**I do not own Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Zoisite, Queen Beryl, the Negaverse, Usagi, Rei-chan, or Lita-chan. **

**Read and enjoy! **

**Chapter Two **

Zoisite descended the damp, curving staircase and unlatched the heavy wooden door. Out of the entire palace of the Negaverse, this was his least-favored spot. Queen Beryl could have built the under levels of her abode with a bit more…style, but this place was the best for his own purposes.

He pushed the heavy door closed and bolted it again from the inside then turned toward the long table up against the stone wall. There were no windows down here, unless anyone could call the small crack between two stones a window. Zoisite crossed over to the table and pulled open a drawer. The mahogany box was still there, looking very much out of place among the worn out splendor of Beryl's palace. It had seen better times and better homes.

Zoisite drew out the smooth box and opened the lid slowly, wincing a little as it squeaked. He'd have to oil the hinge sometime, but that could be done later. There were few items in the box, treasures from his previous life he had stored away after Beryl defeated the Moon Kingdom, but he was only looking for one thing.

The object was wrapped in a small piece of velvet. Zoisite slowly drew it out and set the box aside. The velvet fell aside, leaving him holding a delicate silver chain and a sliver of ice crystal on the end.

_"Mercury, you couldn't possibly give me this!" he objected, taking her hand and dropping the chain and crystal back. _

_The Princess of Mercury laughed a sweet, melodious sound. She turned his hand and pressed the gift back, closing his fingers around it._

_"I'm giving it to you for protection, Zoisite. There are rumors, you know. A strange new power is rising, and Queen Serenity fears it. I don't…" She paused, closing her eyes to stop the tears forming in the corners. "I can't lose you, not now. Please keep it. If all else fails, this will protect you from anything." _

_He opened his hand, looking at the small crystal. It glowed blue in his palm and it was warm. _

_"Mercury, I… Thank you." Zoisite smiled gently, brushing away her bangs. Her eyes shimmered and she nodded._

_Zoisite fastened the chain around his neck and patted the small crystal. "I promise I will not take it off. Whatever happens, I will be safe." He paused. "And what of you, Mercury? If this threat is as great as you all fear, won't you need protection as well?" _

_"I will have my sisters alongside me, and the power from my home. It is you I fear for, Zoisite." _

_Mercury reached up and kissed his forehead lightly. "Until we meet again."_

Zoisite closed his eyes, closing his fist around the necklace. It was the last time he had seen her as himself. Beryl had confronted him soon after, along with the other Kings, and had seduced them all. He hadn't been thinking clearly, and then it had ended.

Focusing again, he studied the small crystal in his hand. It still glowed blue, but it was dimmer. Mercury's power had not waned; it just lay dormant within the crystal from disuse. Zoisite fastened the chain around his neck and tucked it beneath his jacket. His brothers would probably sense the strange aura from the necklace, but he doubted Beryl would. It was so tiny and she had more important things to worry about than a protective amulet.

Zoisite returned the velvet and the box into the drawer and closed it; he made certain everything was as it had been, and then he returned to the upper levels of Beryl's palace.

0

Mercury stared out her apartment window; looking out at Tokyo, but not really seeing. In her mind's eye, she could still see Zoisite looking at her, his eyes full of passionate love. Her lips lifted in a small smile, and Mercury pressed a hand to her heart. If only for a moment, she had found a brief respite from the war and her duty as a Sailor Senshi. Zoisite still loved her, and she him. However long it took, she would wait for him.

She didn't understand how he had allowed himself to be swayed by Beryl, but she forgave him for it. Mercury sighed softly, looking down at the toes of her boots. It wouldn't be long now, she supposed. Beryl was getting weaker, and there were only two Shittenou left. Mercury just hoped Zoisite could hide himself before falling at one of her sisters' hands- or worse, her own.

Could she kill him? If it came down to it, would she really be able to turn her back on her princess and her sisters for a man who had betrayed them so many years before? No, she couldn't. A tear dripped down her cheek, and Mercury steeled herself for what would come. If she faced Zoisite again in the presence of any of her sisters, he would die.

She would work to make it painless for him; perhaps she wouldn't even be needed in the fight. But she wouldn't be able to do anything to stop her sisters. Zoisite would die, and he would know she hadn't done anything to save him.

He didn't deserve that. Mercury had vowed to love him, and her heart required her to protect him as well. She had done that already, there was no way she could stop now.

Mercury sniffled loudly, swiping away hot tears. For all her icy splendor, she still found in herself to cry tears that burned. It was something Mars should do, not her! If anything, her tears should freeze. She wished she could freeze her heart, turning it into a lump of ice within her. Perhaps then it wouldn't hurt so much.

She threw herself on her bed and sobbed into her pillow. She cried for her princess, for her sisters, and for Zoisite. She cried for what had once been, and what had been lost. She cried for her broken heart and for its slow mend. She cried just to cry, and when her tears had run out, Mercury just lay there.

Her hair covered her eyes, and she stared out around her room through a curtain of blue. Everything was quiet except for the clock on her bedside table. And then…

Mercury stood up, staring at the door. In a flash, she put away her Sailor uniform, hiding it back in the pendant around her neck. She tugged on the sleeves of her sweater and smoothed her hair, then checked the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy; they would know she had been crying. She closed them, willing the burning to end. Slowly, she froze over.

The ice was cool against her skin, and it warped the view of everything around her. She breathed out, the air frosting the ice before her. After a moment, she allowed it to melt and condense back into the air. Her looks had returned to normal, and even though there was a frosty bite in the air, they wouldn't notice.

"Ami-chan!" sang an all too familiar voice. The door burst open, and Usagi bounced in, followed by Rei-chan and Lita-chan. The princess stopped suddenly, nearly causing the other two to bump into her.

"Is everything okay?" Usagi's eyes held concern, and Mercury's breathing spiked. What had she noticed? Certainly not the chill, and her eyes were not red anymore. What had gone wrong? She followed Usagi's gaze toward her window and noticed the faint lines in the glass.

"No," she breathed out, clenching her fists. How had she cracked the window? Surely she hadn't done it! Someone must have broken in- there was no way she had broken it during her cry. Or had she?

"I'm fine," she said at last, meeting her friends' worried gazes. "I'm perfectly fine."


	4. Chapter 3

**I do not own Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Zoisite, Kunzite, Queen Beryl, the Negaverse, Usagi, Rei-chan, Mina-chan, or Lita-chan. **

**I do apologize if Ami seems a bit out of character. I'm not really sure how she would react to this kind of situation, and not to mention she is playing around a bit. **

**Read and enjoy! **

**Chapter Three **

"Geez, I'm so worried about Ami. She just looks so…down in the dumps." Usagi slurped on her milkshake, eyeing her friend by the window across the room. Ami sat silently with her feet tucked under her, fingering the sleeve of her blue sweater. Her shopping bag lay discarded on the floor next to her, and she stared out the window.

Usagi sighed, cupping her chin in her hand. "I mean, something's got her down. I just don't get what." She glanced at her friends. "Are you girls even listening to me?"

Rei looked at her, annoyance written plainly on her face. "Sure, Usagi, we're listening." She folded her arms on the table and leaned forward, quietly sipping on her latte.

"I just don't get it," Usagi continued. "I know Ami's one to keep quiet, but this is just weird."

"I think she's in love." Mina nodded once, looking triumphant. The others stared. "Oh, come on. As the Soldier of Love and all that, I think I would know a girl in love when I saw one."

Lita flipped her ponytail. "That would make sense, I guess." She shrugged. "Almost makes me think of you, Usagi, when you first saw Mamoru."

The others giggled, and Usagi glared.

"Can we just get back on subject, please?" she pleaded, twirling one of her pigtails.

"Alright, so Ami's in love. What's the big deal?" Rei asked, pushing away her empty glass.

"The deal is…she doesn't seem happy. Being in love is meant to make you happy, not bring you down." Usagi sighed heavily, slumping back against the cushion.

"What if he dumped her?" Lita suggested. "It could happen to anyone."

Mina stood up. "Well, I'm not going to sit here and offer suggestions. I'm going to ask her."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Mi?" Rei caught her wrist. "What if she doesn't want to talk about it?"

"She can't just let herself drift away. We're her friends, and we're here to help her." Mina pulled away from Rei's grasp. "As the Soldier of Love, it is my duty to find out what has happened and attempt to fix it."

"It's alright, you know." Ami's quiet voice interrupted them. No one had noticed the Sailor of Mercury's silent approach, and she took a seat next to Usagi. "I'm doing okay."

"But Ami, you've been so sad!" Usagi threw her arms around the pale girl, nearly throwing both of them off-balance. "And we're worried about you!"

"I'm really okay." She offered a wan smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "But since you are all such dear, caring friends, I will tell you about him."

Mina sat down, propping her elbows on the table. "Oh, go ahead Ami. We're listening."

Ami was silent and then she took a breath. "His name is Zach, and he's a good friend of mine. We've known each other since… since last year. When I first saw him, he disgusted me with his coldness, but… I saw him again and again, and I've fallen in love with him."

"So, how come you never introduced him to us?" Rei poked Ami's arm gently.

"Because…because his family doesn't approve of me." Ami took a shuddering breath, and it looked to the others as if she'd burst into tears at any moment. Mina pulled out one of her small pocket hankies and handed it over. Ami thanked her quietly, dabbing at her eyes. "There is no possible way he can…that I could…live up to their expectations. He's quite rich and powerful, and they want to see him do well, and I do to, so I can't…oh!"

With that, Ami burst into tears. She sobbed into Mina's handkerchief, while the girls piled around her in hugs and giving murmurs of condolences and offers to squash Zach's family so they could be together. At last, she straightened and sniffed once.

"Thank you all so much. I'll be alright. I've just been trying to keep my mind busy, and…" Ami swallowed, folding the hankie and then unfolding it and then twisting it. "Maybe someday I'll get over him."

"Well, that's just not fair." Mina sat back scowling. "Of all the things for them to do, keeping both of you apart because you're not good enough for their snobby tastes. It's ridiculous." She crossed her arms, pouting.

"I'd like to show them what a broken heart feels like," Lita muttered darkly, frowning heavily.

Usagi sniffled loudly. "I'm so sorry Ami!" She hugged her friend again, sobbing.

"If anything, they all deserve a good scolding. Ami, you're a wonderful, sweet girl, and they're extremely foolish to be doing this." Rei stood, grabbing her purse. "Where do they live?"

"Oh, please don't. The last thing Zach needs is to face his family's wrath. They have such high hopes for him, and so do I." Ami looked beseechingly at all of her friends. "For his own sake and future, I'm willing to let him go."

"Poor thing," Mina cooed, patting Ami's hand. "That is true love; giving him up for what's best for him, even if it breaks your heart."

The other girls nodded, but discussion continued about the unfairness of the situation. As they spoke, Ami looked out the window, all the noise fading out.

_Perhaps someday, Zoisite. _

0

"There you are, Zoisite."

The young general looked up as Kunzite walked into the cavern room, his white cloak flowing out behind him. Zoisite bowed from the waist and then waited.

"I've been watching you lately, and you seem distracted." Kunzite casually walked over to the glittering wall of the cave and pulled out a shimmering crystal. "I certainly hope nothing is the matter?"

"Of course not," he answered quickly. His hand strayed to his chest where Mercury's crystal lay hidden beneath his coat, but he stopped and clenched his fist. "I mean to say, nothing is wrong, Kunzite. I have only been…focused on gathering more energy for Queen Beryl, and working on ways to defeat the Sailor Scouts."

Kunzite made a noise in the back of his throat and turned away. "Don't try to double cross me or Queen Beryl like Nephrite did. Your fate will be far worse than his."

Zoisite swallowed, bowing slightly. "Of course, Kunzite. My loyalty will always lie with our beloved queen."

Kunzite's eyes narrowed. "See that it does." He turned and swept from the room, his cloak billowing out behind him. Zoisite didn't allow himself an easy breath until the echoes of Kunzite's footsteps had faded, leaving him in silence within the crystal caves.

_Soon, Mercury. Very soon. _


End file.
